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Build me, break me

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Our thoughts reflect our beliefs and assumptions about ourselves. These beliefs and assumptions are created from information we receive about ourselves from the people, situations and experiences we encounter from the time we are born, onwards.

By building your awareness of your thinking, you are able to be more selective about which thoughts to keep, and which to let go of.  Ask yourself: “Is this belief/assumption true?” and “Does it build me or break me?”

Below are some examples in order for you to identify your ‘Break Me’ thoughts, and change them into positive, credible alternative beliefs – or ‘Build Me’ thoughts. We’ve provided 2 examples to get you going.

Break me thought Build me thought
 I'm stupid  I use my mistakes to learn more about me
 Every decision I make is wrong  I have th right to choose


Identifying my feelings accurately:

Our feelings have been given a bad rap, mostly because they have the potential to make us and others feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, and overwhelmed. The reality is that we are emotional beings, just as much as we are physical and intellectual beings. Our feelings are real – they’re there whether we choose to ignore them and push them away, or open them up and look at them. Every experience we have comes with an ‘emotional tag’. When we choose to see feelings from this perspective, we begin to see that they provide us with:
    •    valuable information about ourselves
    •    information on how our experiences impact on us
    •    information on how we operate in the world

Learning how to read and understand your feelings – in other words, becoming emotionally literate, is crucial in understanding yourself, and managing your thoughts.

  •    Remember: You are more than your feelings! Your feelings are a part of you – they do not define you.
  • Identify your feeling – give it a name. (Contact a coach at SEN for assistance in identifying your feelings and developing a vocabulary of feeling-words).
  • Allow yourself to have your feeling without judging it as good or bad. It is neither. It is real.
  • Take some time to understand why your have this feeling. You may choose to talk about it with someone you trust, to write about it, or to seek help. Contact (hyperlink) a coach at SEN here.  

The Brick Wall

The Brick Wall is a practical tool you can use to begin to develop a solid knowledge of your competencies – your skills, talents, strengths, abilities, and positive qualities. It’s a good one to add to your ‘life skills’ toolbox, as it encourages you to begin thinking positively about yourself.
The society we live in tends to be very negatively focused – alerting us to the ways in which we are not good enough, are lacking, don’t measure up. This thinking will never allow us to feel good about ourselves – it promotes a harsh, critical way of seeing ourselves.

  • When building your Brick Wall, think globally. What are your competencies in all the different areas of your life? (physically; intellectually; at work; socially; in your family: as a parent, son, daughter, husband, wife….; financially; spiritually; etc)
  • Be specific. What is it about you that makes you an effective manager, or a good husband/wife? Is it that you’re assertive? That you are articulate? That you’re respectful, or a good listener? Is it your intelligence, or that you’re analytical and thoughtful?
  • Use a piece of paper or cardboard to draw your Brick Wall. Each brick needs to be big enough to write a word in. Begin to record your competencies in the bricks. Don’t forget to write your name at the top! 
  • Contact a SEN coach to begin working on building a positive opinion of yourself.
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Guest Thursday, 27 July 2017